


Stop Punching People When You're Angry Cloud

by Sai Cannopy Cé (Sai_Cannopy)



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts, Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sorry Not Sorry, because honestly you can't really have kh without magic, btw yeah there's going to be a long line of families and ties and jfc so many stairs, making this shit up as i go along don't mind me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-02-11 07:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12930279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sai_Cannopy/pseuds/Sai%20Cannopy%20C%C3%A9
Summary: Suiting Up: soIdecidedtoconfesstohimandI’msuperscaredbecauseit’s2inthemorningandtechnicallywhenIlastedtextedhimhesaidhewaswithCloudandwhatifCloudsawandhedeletedeverythingsoIcouldn’tconfessand HELP ME NAMINEHi I’m Daisy: okay first offHi I’m Daisy:it’s 2 AM--a chatfic for kingdom hearts





	1. new game acquired! now playing....

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



> i'm  
> absolutely sorry if this is crap.  
> I CHANGED IT LIKE THREE TIMES AND I'M STILL NOT HAPPY THIS IS WHY YOU ACTUALLY THINK REAL HARD BEFORE YOU WRITE KIDS.  
> And yeah, there's a plot to this (dear god help me). Remember how the tags said modern with magic? yeah I'm rewriting the entire plot and scheme of the series _just to fucking try to get a better grasp at writing_. I hate writing can we get rid of it?  
>  still sorry that there's no update for my other fics, i'm trying, but FICS MAN CMON ~~in other news: school continues to be on my back and inspiration for other fics comes and goes~~
> 
> Enjoy or laugh at my endless pain as I try writing more fics and the amount of unfinished work piles upward. Don't do multi-chapter fics unless you planned this years ago kiddos.

10:34 AM

 

Joseph Joestar >> Caesar-chan

 

Joseph Joestar: if you thought Saïx couldn’t get any worse

Joseph Joestar: BOY YOURE WRONG

Caesar-chan: what now sora

Joseph Joestar: mother fucker mcfucking dissed super Mario

Caesar-chan: want me to get kairi

Joseph Joestar: hell yeah

Joseph Joestar: wait no not her she’ll tell Aqua

Caesar-chan: Roxas then

Joseph Joestar: _hell yeah_

Caesar-chan: hopefully no one will murder us

Joseph Joestar: wow

Joseph Joestar: and here I thought that was my line

 

4:00 PM

 

wild dog meets wild dog

 

memorizing: I do hope _some idiots_ understand that _maybe_ their prank wasn’t the **right move**

#1 Mom: GODDAMNIT KIDS WHAT DID YOU DO?!

fuck consequences: more like what _didn’t_ you do

Sor-a-in’: nice one

#1 Mom: _Where are you so I can beat your asses in._

me me dreamy boy: fucking snitch

memorizing: you know, I would have _loved_ the prank

memorizing: and yeah, I would have helped

memorizing: but 1. I’m trying to get back into _**someone’s**_ good graces

memorizing: and 2. _Do you know how much I hate cooking?_

fuck consequences: okay but it wasn’t that bad

Purity Incarnate: Roxas.

Purity Incarnate: You got

Purity Incarnate: _super duper ultra fucking lucky_.

Karkat: if it weren’t for the laws of this land Saïx would’ve slaughtered us all

Sor-a-in’: okay but he was practically attacking Kairi!!

oh, light?: sora he always does that

me me dreamy boy: _what_

fuck consequences: _goddamn liar_

me me dreamy boy: I thought he dissed Mario

fuck consequences: oh well still deserved

Sor-a-in’: besides, it’s not like he knew

memorizing: _He specifically chose both me and Xion to cook and clean for them._

Sor-a-in’: Xion

Purity Incarnate: No, they chose Lea to cook, they know how bad I am.

Sor-a-in’: _damn_

#1 Mom: _You three. Are coming. To Master Yen Sid’s office. Right now._

Karkat: Ya both better go out with a bang

 

8:30 PM

 

#1 Mom: You three >> **me me dreamy boy** >> **Sor-a-in’** >> **fuck consequences** are in _so_ much trouble.

#1 Mom: If it weren’t for the fact that _someone_ has a soft spot for you, you would’ve been kicked out of here.

Sor-a-in’: sorry mom

me me dreamy boy: ain’t gonna apologize

fuck consequences: nope

#1 Mom: Don’t make me tell Cid.

me me dreamy boy: nm

fuck consequences: YOU ARE _NOT_ PLAYING THAT CARD NOW OUT OF ALL TIMES MA’AM

#1 Mom: _Don’t tempt me young man_

fuck consequences: _fine_

 

* * *

 

 

2:00 AM

 

Suiting Up >> Hi I’m Daisy

 

Suiting Up: Namine

Hi I’m Daisy: Terra!

Hi I’m Daisy: you never text me

Hi I’m Daisy: not even at this time

Suiting Up: Okay okay I know I texted at the wrong time sorry.

Hi I’m Daisy: no it’s ok you caught me at a good time

Hi I’m Daisy: what’s up?

Suiting Up: okay so what I’m about to tell you you swear you are _not_ going to tell Cloud

Hi I’m Daisy: what would you do that would piss Cloud off???

Suiting Up: **deep breath**

Hi I’m Daisy: uh oh

Suiting Up: soIdecidedtoconfesstohimandI’msuperscaredbecauseit’s2inthemorningandtechnicallywhenIlastedtextedhimhesaidhewaswithCloudandwhatifCloudsawandhedeletedeverythingsoIcouldn’tconfessandhejustreallyhatedmeallthistimeandiwasreadingintothiswrongandzackactuallydoesn'tactuallylikemeand HELP ME NAMINE

Hi I’m Daisy: okay first off

Hi I’m Daisy: it’s _2 AM_

Suiting Up: okay sorry I’ll space that out

Suiting Up: is this better: so I decided to confess to him and I’m super scared because it’s 2 in the morning and technically when I last texted him he said he was with Cloud and what if Cloud saw and he deleted everything so I couldn’t confess he just really hated me all this time and i was reading into this wrong and zack actually doesn't actually like me

Hi I’m Daisy: yeah that’s better

Hi I’m Daisy: also you’re an idiot

Suiting Up: wuzit

Hi I’m Daisy: did

Hi I’m Daisy: did you really think he was _that_ protective?

Suiting Up: ….

Suiting Up: yes

Hi I’m Daisy: well you’re a damn fool

Hi I’m Daisy: also he’s laughing at you

Suiting Up: Namine.

Suiting Up: Was he watching you?

Suiting Up: All this time?

Hi I’m Daisy: yes I was

 

Suiting Up is offline.

 

Hi I’m Daisy: you’ll never learn idiot

 

* * *

 

 

7:00 PM

 

I still want a camera flamethrower Cid

 

cicc: I swear to fuck

Sora: HAHAHHAHAHA

Roxie: I didn’t think of that

Roxie: nice one

Namine: that was actually me ;-;

Roxie: okay wrong credit

Roxie: nice one Nami

Namine: welcome >:3

Cid: y'all won’t ever get that flamethrower at this rate

Cloud: I think we’re going to be slaughtering someone today

Namine: _Cloud_

Cid: the idiot finally confess?

Cloud: brick didn’t say shit, scared chicken shit 

Cloud: dirt ended up sending a message that I couldn’t read but apparently brick can read his stupid code

Sora: TERRA DID IT!!!

Roxie: >>CELEBRATE.exe

Namine: >>CONFETTI

Ventus: FUCKING HELL GUYS THAT WAS LOUD

Roxie: your point?

Namine: give Ter-Ter a hug and congrats from us!!

Ventus: Ik I will, was planning to before you guys exploded my ears

Ventus:  _just don't do that again jesus_

 

Ventus is offline.

 

Namine: one of us

Roxie: one of us

Sora: one of us

 

Cid: _ONE OF US_

Sora: **ONE OF US**

Roxie: **ONE OF US**

Cloud: _fine_

Cloud: one of us

Sora: ONE OF US!!!

Roxas:  _ **ONE OF US!!!**_

 

8:00 PM

 

lion kin >> Suiting Up

 

lion kin: you know they’re chanting _one of us_ right now right

Suiting Up: _I hate you and your fucking family so much_

lion kin: welcome to my life go fuck yourself

lion kin: also you know the rules

Suiting Up: _leave me ALONE_


	2. apparently mario party 100 actually was decent. i still don't own it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terrabyte: BULL  
> Terrabyte: SHIT  
> Terrabyte: LYING THROUGH YOUR GODDAMN TEETH  
> Aqua: OH SO YOU WOULD WANT TO RISK YOUR LIFE JUST TO PLAY ONE _MEASLY **FUCKING GAME OF MARIO PARTY?**_  
>  Terrabyte: NO!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally I got this done
> 
> This actually took a while ~~cough cough no not other fics nooooo~~ since I actually just didn't know how I wanted this chapter, but the title of this fic had to go _somewhere_. I was thinking about if I just did the TWEWY chapter instead, or the actual reason why I keep visualizing Terra with his name you see here, but when I checked the previous chapter I realized I couldn't. Have to keep up with promises.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter and remember: beat up Square ~~please don't they might push it back further~~ if they don't release the date soon!

Saturday, 4:20 PM

 

wild dog fights doggy style

 

memorizing: blaze it

 

oh, light?: guess who got mario party top 100???

Sor-a-in’: FINALLY

fuck consequences: _why_

me me dreamy boy: i am _not_ playing fuck you all

Karkat: gonna have to agree with you there

daft punk’s son: _you two are going to play with us if i have to be there_

Karkat: fuck no i ain’t! i got a life to live!

Karkat: go fuck yourselves before you dare ask me that again

fuck consequences: _xion youre bringing axel with you_

Purity Incarnate: WHY ROXAS?!

Purity Incarnate: WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US

fuck consequences: BECAUSE FUCK YOU TWO

fuck consequences: IF I HAVE TO GO DOWN I’M TAKING YOU WITH ME

memorizing: if you guys are gonna bring me in i’m grabbing the alcohol

 

#1 Mom: I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make it! I have to study for tests, and if I don’t pass these I’ll fail my class!

Karkat: you have straight As you ain’t gonna die if you fail a quiz

Sor-a-in’: that’s okay!

Sor-a-in’: you can just make it to the next one!

#1 Mom: Thank you, Sora!

 

 

Terrabyte >> Aqua

 

Terrabyte: BULL

Terrabyte: SHIT

Terrabyte: LYING THROUGH YOUR GODDAMN TEETH

Aqua: OH SO YOU WOULD WANT TO RISK _YOUR_ LIFE JUST TO PLAY ONE _MEASLY FUCKING GAME OF **MARIO PARTY**_?

Terrabyte: NO!

Aqua: but if Zack was there you’d do it.

Terrabyte:

Terrabyte: no

Aqua: Terra.

Aqua: You’re gonna die aren’t you.

Terrabyte: somebody has to die for his sins ok?

 

* * *

 

Sunday, 5:35

  

vents: aw fuck

vents: sorry guys, Ter’s out of this

Karkat: did the lil shit chicken out?

vents: no

vents: surprisingly, he caught a cold

me me dreamy boy: pretty fucking convenient if you ask me

Purity Incarnate: Actually, he does and he’s dying.

Sor-a-in’: aw man! i was looking forward to him!

vents: you just wanted to beat his ass, didn’t you

Sor-a-in’: no!

oh, light?: you have, and i repeat, a mini written score board above your bed counting how many times you’ve both won and fought

Sor-a-in’: _kairi why_

oh, light?: because _someone_ has to tell the truth

 

 

Ter >> Ven

 

Ter: please record this hellhole of a battle  
Ven: sure thing sick man

Ven: keep my man alive

Ven: ew that sounds weird

Ven: also cloud says to suck it up and talk to him

Ter: he can SUCK IT too if he fucking continues with that shit

 

* * *

 

Video call is starting…

Connected! [6:34 PM]

 

sora| The Duel Begins

Terra: finally, been sitting here for too long

cloud| Tell that son of a bitch he’s gonna fucking die for faking his cold.

zack| To be honest he was actually coughing, aerith can cover him on that

Terra: ‘scuse me i don’t want to have to see salty losers

cid| Okaaaay, so the teams are as follows:

cid| Sora, Riku, and Kairi – you three are fucking inseparable I swear.

Vanitas, Ventus, Xion, Lea, and Roxas - I’m half tempted to separating ya shits.

xion| Please no.

ventus| Let Vanitas out and we’ll be okay.  
vanitas| MOTHER FUCK—

cid| Leon, me, and Cloud.

cid| And, finally, Aerith, Zack, and Terra.

Terra: ????

  1. Where’s Tifa? She said that she was joining earlier today.
  2. Why am I included?



zack| …

Terra: ZACK WHAT DID YOU DO

aerith| He said that if you’re on the same team as him, he’ll beat them.

Terra: …

Terra: My first question wasn’t answered.

 

 

[7:21]

 

cloud| FUCK YOU SORA THAT WAS _MY_ STARBITS!

sora| I TOTALLY EARNED THOSE FAIRLY SHUT IT CLOUD!

leon| Only a damn matter of time.

axel| VANITAS STOP FUCKING HOGGING!

vanitas| CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP!

tifa| Y’all are lucky I’m cooking some good shit and not beating y’all in one shot.

riku| As far as I know we’re all screwed either way.

Terra: Nice roll zack.

zack| Thanks! I practiced yesterday.

leon| Sadly he’s not lying.

aerith| I’m so sorry you’re dating him, Terra.

Terra: Sometimes I ask myself why too, ma’am.

 

 

[7:59]

 

riku| _I had that IN THE BAG_ SORA WHY DID YOU PUSH ME?!

sora| IT WAS MY TURN!

Yuffie: sometimes I like to say I like these games

Yuffie: this is why I don’t anymore

xion| YES! Thank you Van!

cloud| Cheating sons of B--

tifa| HEY!

tifa| No pizza for you if you finish that!

cloud| Bbbees.

cid| I need more beer for this.

 

 

[8:32]

 

ventus| Why isn’t this 8 players?

ventus| would be sooo much better

cloud| Becauuuuse Nintendo hates uuuuus!

aerith| That’sssss sooooo TRUUUUEEE.

sora| I’m glad i’m not drunk.

riku| You’ll die before we even _let_ you touch that crap.

Terra: hey zack

zack| hmm?

Terra: get the chest plate on

zack| thanks babe

Terra: _please stop_

kairi| Ohohhh?

van| Ohohohoooo

axel| Since when were you two a thing?

Terra: SHUT IT

 

 

[9:01]

 

xion| Kairi I HATE YOU.

kairi| Lol kiss my ass.

cid| NOOO kissing peopwe’s ass’es…

tifa| Mistakes --

tifa| _BUUUUURRRRRp_

tifa| -- were made.

Zack: i’m glad i’m not drunk

Terra: more like you’re still alive

 

 

[9:12]

 

sora| GOD OH GOD TERRA CALL THE AMBULANCE!

aerith| I AM THE AMBULANCE OH MY GOD!

Terra: i turn around for one fucking secOOOOOOH MY FUCK

Terra: IS ZACK OKAY!?

cloud| You’re next pretty boy.

ventus| OH GOD!

riku| Fuck you all I’m leaving.

vanitas| NO YOU’RE NOT YOU’RE STAYING HE

tifa| I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD CLOUD!

cid| MY HOUSE!

cloud| FUCK YOUR HOUSE, CID!

cloud| YOU WANNA GO GURL? YOU WANNA?

cloud| FUCKING TAKE YOU ON! ALL OF YOU!

Terra: I’m recording this and sending this to Master Eraqus in case he wants to know why Ventus is out.

 

* * *

 

Monday, 8:15

 

Water Bender>> daft dunk, Dead Rising

 

Water Bender: I’m really sorry I wasn’t there! I should’ve known it would get out of hand!

Water Bender: It is Cloud, he’s too competitive for his own good…

Dead Rising: i’m just gonna keep telling you what van says

Dead Rising: cloud makes games rated n-17

daft dunk: that will never save me from the times he’s smashed my head into a wall

Water Bender: or when he punched Master in the stomach when he beat him at chess

daft dunk: WHAT?!

Dead Rising: _s t o r y t i m e_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to know why no one asks Yuffie, Tifa, or Namine to join: Yuffie decided that being a possible punching bag wasn't worth it. Tifa is already banned, as she broke her controller in a fit of rage by throwing it at one of the kids. Namine was just straight up banned because they don't want her hurt (she would've just steered clear of that crap. Mario games are scary if you really get competitive in the Sora Gang.
> 
> This time I won't promise what the next chapter will be, buuuut I will say that the next update will come a lot sooner!


	3. darkness within darkness within darkness within pancake within wait what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud: and I hope you know that we still love you and accept you for who you are  
> Sora: I hate  
> Sora: both of you  
> Sora: so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ho fuck there's like so much more memes I can add thanks to the servers I'm on_
> 
>  
> 
> Hiya, folks! More KH content (and it's probably gonna stick to that until Kingdom Hearts 3 hype is finally dead and I stop talking to myself about when it'll come out and how they better be fucking prepared when they release it and yeah) is gonna be coming, especially since I keep rolling shit out. Somehow influential shit never stops and I can't stop thinking about a whole bunch of shit and yeah I think at some point I'll stop with my KH fics briefly for a Voltron fic I've had in mind for about half a year.
> 
> Later on I'm gonna slaughter you all with the best ~~awful because I barely use pixelmator~~ picture so see that in the near future. In the meantime enjoy the fact that photoshopping is slowly being added to this fic.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this far (seriously I didn't think this would even get past 100 hits let alone nearly 30 kudos) and enjoy yet another eh chapter!

Too Much Screaming

Tuesday, 5:03 AM

sora is now Uchicha!.

 

Uchicha!: I HATE YOU HAYNER FUCK YOU

olay: alright holdy up the fuckity fuck up what’s going on

penny: he’s still salty about the uchicha thing

olay: anime was a mistake

 

hayner is now Uchiha!

 

Uchiha!: NO IT’S UCHIHA YOU FOOL

Uchicha!: NO IT’S NOT YOU SAKE OF SHIT IT’S UCHI _CHA_  

sack of beans: sora please

Uchicha!: NO I WILL NOT YOU FUCKING ANIME WEEABO SHITHEAD DUPLICATE OF VENTS

sack of beans: aaaand i’m out

penny: what a name

axel's sister: _this will never stop being gold_

olay: what, him spilling this to everyone and everyone giving him the Look, or the varied names he gives to people?

axel's sister: both

 

 

Cloud >> Sora, Roxas

 

Cloud: Sora

Sora: Sorry Roxas.

Roxas: I’ll take it.

Cloud: thank you

Cloud: don’t you send that message Sora

 

 

Sora >> Roxas

 

Sora: FUCK

Roxas: red-handed

Sora: says the person who’s dating a guy who uses fire _and_ has red hair

Roxas: but he doesn’t have red hands

Sora: guess I was caught

Sora: _red handed_ ;3

 

Roxas is offline.

 

Sora: but I ain’t wrong tho

 

* * *

 

weld weld weast

Friday, 7:03 PM

 

oh, light?: wbfuepweb

me me dreamy boy: _i swear you two_

fuck consequences: spill before the kid wakes up

memorizing: okay so you know how van went on a huge rampage about sora being a monster furry and all?

 

Karkat has sent maplestapledleaves.png

 

fuck consequences: _holy shit_

#1 Mom: Do I want to know.

Karkat: you can’t say I didn’t fucking try

vents: I feel like I’ve seen that tho

vents: hey mom, what was that world called?

#1 Mom: I don’t remember, but I know _exactly_ what it is.

 

Monday, 12:01 AM

 

Sor-a-in’ is online.

 

Sor-a-in’: stop spreading fake news it’s actually real

vents: I knew it!

oh, light?: brb holy f

me me dreamy boy: 

Karkat: _fuck_

Karkat: THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TA BE FUCKING QUICK WITH THIS SACK OF SHIT

Karkat: YA FUCKING PARTY SHITHOLE

Sor-a-in’: then don’t go tellin lies!

memorizing: wait until I tell Cloud you’re a furry

Sor-a-in’: nO

me me dreamy boy: I’m sorry did I just see a cat?

 

 

Cloud >> Sora, Leon

 

Cloud: and I hope you know that we still love you and accept you for who you are

Sora: I hate

Sora: both of you

Sora: so much

Leon: glad to know someone inherited _something_ from me

Sora: YOU NEVER ONCE SAID THAT YOU LIKED THEM _DAD_

  

* * *

 

 

3:00 PM

 

vents: okay someone tell me what’s with all this plaid here

vents: aqua are you making more family-friendly shurikens again

#1 Mom: 1. I would tell you all before Halloween hit.

#1 Mom: 2. Why would I make it family-friendly if they’re weapons?

#1 Mom: 3. I don’t use plaid. It’s a mistake.

me me dreamy boy: _If it weren’t for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you right there._

memorizing: gonna have to agree with you there, riku

Sor-a-in’: there’s nothing wrong with it!

#1 Mom: _There’s so much wrong with it._

me me dreamy boy: I’m getting support hold on

#1 Mom: If you bring in _the King_ so God help me I will KICK YOUR ASSES BOTH.

terrabyte: why do you hate plaid so much

 

me me king mouse has joined wild wild wild wild dog.

 

me me king mouse: Hiya, fellas! How’s it going?

me me dreamy boy: Aqua hates plaid.

me me king mouse: W-what?! But it’s so nice! How could you hate such a thing?!

#1 Mom: For starters, it just clashes with your guys’ style!

oh, light?: wait until Minnie hears about this

#1 Mom: _I should bring her into this_.

me me king mouse: Don’t you bring my wife into this!

 

 

Sore >> Venitas, Vantus

 

Sora: why

Venitas: I WAS ONLY CURIOUS

Vantus: fucking shithead you killed us all

Sora: at least we didn’t bring up his new Keyblade

Vantus: _Don’t get me started with that digusting shit._

 

* * *

 

6:45 PM

 

 

van: and with the power of photoshop here’s our new friend, axel

 

van has sent [the_power_of_photoshop_preview.png](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/411580973948600320/417226685369548801/unknown.png).

 

memorizing: i’m 

fuck consequences: what the fuck vanitas

vents: and now, dumbbells

Karkat: they’re fuCKING AXELS YOU DIDIOT

me me dreamy boy: a whole new caaaaar

Sor-a-in': do you think there's an actual world where we're all cars?

Purity Incarnate: We're all cars now.

memorizing: _are you insinuating that you’re going to use that car key of yours to make me into a car?_

me me dreamy boy: if I ask Merlin and he allows it, yeah

memorizing: _i’m calling the organization they’ll take me before you do_

 

memorizing is offline.

 

Purity Incarnate: But what if the Organization _is_ the car? What do you do then?

me me dreamy boy: tame it and make it yours

Purity Incarnate: Worry is beyond something to think about.

 

 

6:09

 

sora| [Woof woof woof woof](https://youtu.be/OfZrILIftOw?t=28) —

vanitas| SORA NO STOP!

ventus| And thus the furry-ness continues.

riku| SORA! FOR FUCK’S SAKE, STOP!

kairi| Recorded and sent.

sora| But I’m growling!

kairi| Wh…

riku| SORA, BEHIND YOU!

Sora is offline.

vanitas| Ava is a fucking mistake.

kairi| Say that to her face, and we’ll see then.

riku| Just fucking get Sora and finish this stupid mission.

 

* * *

 

Wild wild wild wild wild wild wild

 

8:00

 

#1 Mom: WHAT HAPPENED TO SORA WHY IS HE SO INJURED YOU GUYS WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO TAKE OUT THE GIANT DARKSIDE IN DAYBREAK TOWN?!

terrabyte: Extra credit.

#1 Mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “ _EXTRA CREDIT_ ”?!

me me dreamy boy: In my defense I told him not to

oh, light?: I remember you saying “do a flip!”

Karkat: worth it

#1 Mom: _I’m going to have a word with Foreteller Ava._

 

#1 Mom is offline.

 

vents: wait until she learns that it was Ms. Invi who said yes

terrabyte: I thought it was Master Aced who did?

oh, light?: bets anyone?

zak & cody: 1000000 she fucking _slays_ all of them

memorizing: 50 Eraqus gets to yell at them

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit cannot believe that it's been Uchiha all this time I swear it was Uchicha


	4. do people even use clocks on chatfics anymore im going in blind here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sor-a-in: ‘scuse you I’m Kirby! and I become friends with everyone
> 
> fuck consequences: by killing people? and then befriending them afterwards?
> 
> Purity Incarnate: Sora you don’t scream at people and then befriend them
> 
> Sor-a-in’: BUT NARUTO DOES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god my head
> 
> this somehow became _way_ longer than it was originally intended to be, but honestly i actually liked it. it started off with one video (obvious in this chapter) and then it just... exploded. im not even sure how i came upon that one, but then....
> 
> tbch i am proud of myself for making a 16-page chapter for a chatfic. i just. wow. my humor's getting there.
> 
> anyways i should be posting another fic (bnha for once holy shiii) soon, but i gotta make it quick for a challenge. its already been on my mind for like, a month or less and god i just. ideas m8s.
> 
> oh well. enjoy

where the fuck is the fucking wild pokemon

 

 

Karkat: by the power of the gods i bestow the best thing on earth

 

karkat has sent [axelotl.png](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/419767939357474816/428022996544913408/unknown.png).

 

fuck consequences has changed memorizing to axelotl.

 

Purity Incarnate: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toHtBSNvdpM>

 

vents: happy birthday i guess

 

oh, light?: you guys do know he’s out on ’nother mission?

 

fuck consequences: ughhhhhh don’t remind me

 

me me dreamy boy: you know I still think he’s aqua’s long lost brother

 

#1 Mom: What.

 

terrabyte: owo what’s this?

 

terrabyte: ngre;gbreb;gergergbgn o

 

Purity Incarnate: I regret Zak ever being in my life.

 

zak & cody: y’all so rude gdi

 

terrabyte: maybe if you weren’t fucking doing this IN THE MORNING

 

zak & cody: you make it sound like I cant do the do with you this early or that late

 

zak & cody is offline.

 

Purity Incarnate: and that’s why I wonder how he’s even alive.

 

Karkat: pure butllhit

 

Huey: n clod

 

* * *

 

 

Sor’a’in: here this <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9Q15RrzL5Q> for isa

 

Purity: ewo;gwb;

 

fuck consequences: YEP THAT HIM ALRIGHTY

 

Karkat: to be fair that is him when he goes beserk

 

#1 Mom: _finally some good fucking content_

 

oh, light?: HOLY FUCK MOM CURSED, DIDNT PUNCTUAR, AND DIDNT UPPERCASE

 

#1 Mom: wher the fuck is the coffe

 

terrabyte: here aqui

 

vents: aqui o alli

 

terrabyte: aqui tejoes

 

me me dreamy boy: still can’t break that theory of mine

 

fuck consequences: holy shit I can actually see it

 

* * *

 

axelotl: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUeYcVLoNB8>

 

axelotl: surprisingly took a while to find

 

fuck consequences: you’re very welcome

 

fuck consequences: and very specific of you

 

Karkat: FUCK YUO THAT’S _MY_ CREDIT

 

Purity Incarnate: guys _no_

 

fuck consequences: why should I when you’re no artist

 

axelotl: so does that mean your graffiti art doesn’t make you an artist

 

fuck consequences: HRRRRR

 

Karkat: GOTCHA BITCH

 

Purity Incarnate: So then what does that make my work?

 

Karkat: amazing

 

Huey: beauty

 

axelotl: the best

 

fuck consequences: literally the best thing in the whole worlds and the realms and shit

 

Sor’a’in: BALIEVE IT

 

* * *

 

 Sor-a-in: a story of our lives: <https://youtu.be/ozzIWxL9K-Y>

 

karkat: what do ya mean that’s me screaming

 

fuck consequences:

 

vents: that’s me too

 

axelotl: i’m kirby and whispy’s isa

 

fuck consequences: i’m kirby and whispy is all y’all stupid asses

 

Sor-a-in: ‘scuse _you_ I’m Kirby! and I become friends with everyone

 

fuck consequences: by killing people? and then befriending them afterwards?

 

Purity Incarnate: Sora you don’t scream at people and then befriend them

 

Sor-a-in’: BUT NARUTO DOES

 

me me big boy: _Naruto was a fucking mistake._

Sor-a-in’: BALIEVE IT

 

me me big boy: he doesn’t even look at me anymore ;-;

 

oh, light?: oh shut up you drama kid

 

* * *

 

 

Sor-a-in’ has changed their name to BALIEVE IT!!!.

 

oh, light?: SORA STOp

 

me me dreamy boy has changed their name to SASUKE.

 

fuck consequences has changed their name to MANGEKYO IN THE EYES.

 

axelotl: tempted to change my name but i like mine already

 

#1 Mom has changed their name to Tsunade.

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: oh shit

 

Tsunade: Yeah you better believe it, kiddos.

 

Tsunade: And I can technically beat all of your asses if you _don’t_  settle _down_.

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: NEVER YOU HAG

 

Tsunade is offline.

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: on a scale from one to ten, how bad

 

terrabyte has changed their name to Tsunade.

 

Tsunade: really bad

 

vents: this has given me an idea

 

vents: and now i have forgotten all about it

 

Karkat: you had _one_ job, Fucker, _one goddamn job_

 

* * *

 

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: GUYS HOLY FUCK I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING GREAT

 

oh, light?: sora it is _4 in the morning_ go to fucking sleep

 

SASUKE: i want to hear this

 

oh, light?: of fucking course you would of fucking course just my _goddamn day_

 

Karkat: then fucking sleep ya dunce

 

oh, light?: but then I miss out on everythiiiiing

 

Karkat: then suck it up bitch

 

oh, light?: fine fine

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: I won’t say it until van apologizes

 

Karkat: i’m sorry i called you the b word i won’t say it again

 

oh, light?: thank you bitch

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: thank you

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYES: i heard idea

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: Sephiroth

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: but he works at Sephora

 

oh, light?:

 

me me dreamy boy: Saix, Axel, and Karkat can help him out

 

Karkat: I HAVE A NAME ASSHOLE

 

oh, light?: and Riku’s an assistant

 

SASUKE: _Never_.

 

Karkat: god don’t even

 

Karkat: fcking make all of those damn Organization shits work there

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: which ones

 

Karkat: the idiotic ones thE ONES WITH GODDAMN AUBURN EYES YA FUCKING DUNCE

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: Rude

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: but your’e right

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYE: Lea is only there for the good shit and nothing else

 

oh, light?: god just

 

oh, light?: the amount of sass and bullshit and drama queen crap going on there

 

SASUKE: look i may be the above

 

SASUKE: but just no

 

SASUKE: id rather fucking die thanks

 

Karkat: god what a mood

 

Tsunade: Did someone say dying?

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: RUN AWAY

 

BALIEVE IT!!! is offline.

 

SASUKE is offline.

 

Karkat is offline.

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYE is offline.

 

* * *

 

Aqua >> Terra

 

Aqua: Nice.

 

Terra: a good change of pace if I do say so myself

 

Aqua: Now if only they would do that every day I think we’d be saved.

 

* * *

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: WHAT TEAM

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYES: WILDCATS

 

Karkat: COUGARS

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: _you had_ one _job, Karnitas_

 

oh, light?: _breauieg_

vents: i wake up and i see this beauty

 

Karkat: DO NTO

 

vents has changed Karkat’s name to Karnitas.

 

Karkat: AHHHHH

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: I can’t _balieve_ I can hear his screaming from here

 

SASUKE: sora _no_

BALIEVE IT!!!: BALIEVE IT, RIKU

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: BALIEVE IT

 

Tsunade: I am very tempted to kick all of you out right now.

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: YOU CANT KICK ME OUT IM N CHARGE OF HIS CHAT

 

Tsunade: don’t make me get Tron out here.

 

Tronbone is online.

Tronbone: Yes, you called?

 

vents: gwebges

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: no!

 

Tronbone: Okay then…

 

Tronbone: Please don’t mention or use or threaten to use me when I am clearly not needed. Thank you!

 

Tronbone: And have a good day, Sora.

 

Tronbone is offline.

 

Tsunade: damnit

 

SASUKE: WAIT A MINUTE IS THAT U TERRA

 

Tsunade: FUCK

 

Tsunade: YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOURSELF AWAY THAT EASILY!

 

Tsunade: FUK

 

Tsunade is offline.

 

oh, light?: what a moron

 

Tsunade: Don’t you call Terra a moron Kairi or so help me you will be screaming to Kingdom come.

 

oh, light?: oh so

 

Tsunade: D O N’ T Y O U  F U C K IN G  DA R E  K A I R I.

 

oh, light?: @zak & cody kindgom come

 

zak & cody: eyyyyyy

 

oh, light?: eyyyy

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: eyyyyyyy

 

axelotl: i saw my humor god how are we not related

 

oh, light?: by the power of Kingdom Hearts

 

* * *

 

wwewy wiwld

 

 

axelotl has sent [xehanort_s_nuts.png](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/419767939357474816/428023976690843648/unknown.png).

 

Karnitas: FUCK YOU

 

Tsunade: oh

 

axelotl: and here’s the beta:

 

axelotl has sent [bat shit.png](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/419767939357474816/427643598268399617/unknown.png).

 

SASUKE: HOLY SFHK

 

oh, light?: our new savior

 

axelotl: FUCK YOU TOO KARKAT

 

Karnitas: AHHHHHHH

 

Tsunade: If he fucking screams one more goddamn time I will end you all _personally._

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: AXEL WHY

 

axelotl: because i can

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYES: AXEL YOU FUCKER WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO GRU

 

axelotl: ????

 

SASUKE: _axel **why**_

 

Purity Incarnate: IT ALMOST DESCRIBE GRU YOU FUCKER

 

axelotl: NO

 

axelotl: DAMN YOU

 

axelotl: YOU FUCKING RUINED MY MEME

 

axelotl: IM FUCKING ENDING THIS MEME

 

axelotl: RIGHT HERE

 

axelotl: RIGHT NOW

 

Tsunade: good

 

vents: egerbjge

 

zak & cody: what if gru was the real xehanort all along?

 

Tsunade has kicked zek & cody from wwewy wiwld.

 

Tsunade: _G o o d._

Purity Incarnate: _oh my GOD_ please add him back he’s already annoying

 

Tsunade: i would be the good boyfriend

 

Tsunade: but I don’t wanna

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: this is gonna sound really weird

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: but maybe we should change our names back

 

oh, light?: agreed

 

oh, light? has changed their name to Sheen Gonads.

 

SASUKE: KAIRI WHY

 

SASUKE: WE AGREED ON THIS

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: FEUGRBIELW

 

Sheen Gonands: but sora said we should change our names back

 

Tsunade:

 

Tsunade: what

 

Tsunade has changed their name to #1 Mom.

 

#1 Mom: _So, Riku_ _._

 

SASUKE has changed their name to Orochimaru.

 

Orochimaru: _I will have the last laugh you fucking shit ass tits of a bastard._

 

Sheen Gonads: try me bitch

 

axelotl: she is my sister i’m love

 

BALIEVE IT!!!: you gotta wait she’s ours already

 

MANGEKYO IN THE EYES has changed their name to fuck consequences.

 

fuck consequences: the writer is finally satisfied they don’t have to fuck up with writing these god forsaken long ass names

 

Huey: agreed

 

Sor-a-in’: I feel like I should be worried but for now Im gonna balieve that its just them fucking with us again

 

* * *

 

Purity Incarnate: remember how we were talking about kirby earlier?

 

Purity Incarnate: I should note, though, that there’s a lot of flashy effects with some of the videos…

 

Purity Incarnate: <https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYbvUdWhWpFOSLryhjS_JaCgwZTYi9Ngw>

 

Karnitas: are you _trying_ to kill my eyes?

 

Purity Incarnate: I’m sorry I _like_ these wholesome videos

 

Karnitas: _you’re doing great sweetie_

 

terrabyte: di

 

terrabyte: did Vanitas actually _compliment_ Xion?

 

axelotl: idk anymore

 

Sor-a-in’: you forgot the Saix one!

 

Purity Incarnate: ah shit I did

 

fuck consequences: WHO TAUGHT XION HOW TO SWEAR

 

Purity Incarnate: roxas i am living off of 20 hours of nonstop awake i can be pissed if i want to

 

axelotl: WHOMST

 

Purity Incarnate: I CAN HANDLE MYSELF JUST FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

 

Huey: get me a woman who can do that

 

#1 Mom: I can do that but please, look to Kairi for help on that.

 

Sheen Gonads: no

 

#1 Mom: And there’s your answer.

 

zak & cody: Tifa’s still open

 

#1 Mom: Who?

 

Orochimaru: _zak why_

 

terrabyte: zak

 

zak & cody: oh shit

 

zak & cody is offline.

 

terrabyte is offline.

 

#1 Mom: Honestly that’s an interesting option but then I’d have to tell her that this can’t work because Zak exists.

 

vents: grebgpwie gb

 

Sheen Gonads: honestly thought this was aactually heading towards “too gay for this” or”too busy for this to work”

 

Sor-a-in’: or Cloud beating aqua (as if) up for even going near her

 

Purity Incarnate: she’s _my_ mom now

 

Purity Incarnate: Karnitas get the adoption papers

 

Karnitas: _what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch? i’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo._

Sor-a-in’: phhhhhuck my eyes

 

Purity Incarnate: I’ll get Tifa to adopt you too

 

Karnitas: brb

 

* * *

 

The Awkward Adults’ Round Table

 

Tika: so apparently xion’s claimed me as mom

 

Aeres: fight me

 

Tika: and Karkat’s joining her

 

Gladion: _b’scuse me_

 

Tika: shut up cloud lemme have this

 

Zak: EXCUSE ME I OWN HER

 

Tika: WELL TOO UFCKING BAD SHE’S MIEN NOW

 

zak: NO WAY

 

Yiff yiif: NO FUCKING WAY HOLY SHTI THE MAD WOAMN

 

Yiif Yiff: FUCKN YOU TOO ZAK

 

Zak: PICS

 

Zak: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

 

Tika has sent youre_funral.png.

 

Tika: my girl now

 

Yiff Yiff: m so proud of her

 

Yiff Yiff: WAIT DOES THIS MEAN I CAN GET YOU TO ADOPT ME

 

Tika: sure

 

Zak: CLOUD

 

Gladion: i like my head thanks

 

Gladion: aslo you should change your name to Tsunade i think it would fit better

 

Tika: holy shit

 

Tika has changed their name to Tsunade.

 

Tsunade: time to find a bitch

 

Zak: CATCH THESE HADNS BITHC

 

Zak is offline.

 

* * *

 

 

Sor-a-in’: for @Karnitas <https://youtu.be/MeNR0guNn70>

 

Karnitas: wHAt

 

Karnitas: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU INSINUISTINAG

 

Sor-a-in’: nothing!

 

#1 Mom: _If you so dare as even come on here and then scream like you were Dio’s descendant so God help me I will personally see your death._

 

Karnitas: thx for the help now i know hwat im gonna b for Halloween

 

terrabyte: Giovani?

 

Karnitas: no

 

Karnitas: even BETTER HOLY SHIT

 

Karnitas: THX YA SO MUCH I KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA B

 

Purity Incarnate: A spaghetti knife… really?

 

Karnitas: ingenious r

 

axelotl: more like stupidity

 

vents: HEY

 

Karnitas: HEY

 

fuck consequences: it runs in the family i guess

 

zak & cody: so does that mean its a disease from cloud

 

* * *

 

Zak >> Terra

 

Zak: <http://yeah-yeah-beebiss-1.tumblr.com/post/172290472669/diamondguls>

 

Terra: This will be you if you even come near me

 

Zak: okay first of all

 

Zak: fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... so i might've gotten carried away with the playlist. ~~i ended up finding a lot more compared to... yesterday. which is a lot~~ i just. i just loved it so much. kirby is my passion and i well shit of course he is, i've been drawing him for nearly 6 (idk actually how many) years and have played a few of 'em (ssu a lot and i mean a lot).
> 
> when ventus said he had an idea i actually did have one. i just forgot.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i forgot to add these:  
> Tika/Tsunade: tifa  
> Yiff Yiff: Yuffie  
> Gladion: Cloud  
> Aeres: Aerith
> 
> anyways i hope y'all had a good mother's day.

Day 1500 of no camera flamethrower

 

Roxas: Dad

Roxas: We're getting

Roxas: a cat

Sora: make it two

Namine: Three!

Terra: Four.

Cid: and who’s gonna take care of ‘em, huh?

Cloud: Not me

Leon: I am

Leon: We are

Cloud: w

Cloud: wait

Cloud: but don’t you like just

Cloud: lions?

Leon: Yes. But Lions are also Cats.

Leon: Big.

Leon: Good.

Leon: Adorable.

Leon: Cats.

Sora: CAN WE GET A LION CLOUD

Cloud: NO

Cloud: LEON WE ARE NOT

Cloud: DON’T YOU FUCKING GIVE ME THAT FACE

Cloud: CID

Cid: oh hell naw

Cid: you guys ar on ya own

Leon: That’s three.

Cloud: NAMINE, ROXAS

Cloud: PLEASE

Cloud: HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE

Namine: LION!

Roxas: LION!

Sora: LION!

Leon: Lion.

Cloud: I fucking hate all of you

Cloud: Don’t blame me when you all get eaten

 

 

Sora >> Terra

 

Sora: Tera we’re getting a lion!

Terra: waoh wait WHAT

Sora: Yeah!

Terra: Sora

Terra: Do you know how dangerous they are?

Sora: but Leon wants one!

Sora: and we got the okay from the big Cs!

Terra: and you trust _Leon_ out of _all_ people with this shit?

Sora:

Sora: Yes.

Terra: they’re never going to find your bodies

 

 

Ter >> Zach

 

Ter: this family was a fucking mistake

Zach: aw ;-;

Zach: but am I still your biggest mistake?

Ter: not anymore

Zach: what they do now

Ter: fucking lions

Zach: 

Zach: wait

Zach: I NEED MORE CONTEXT TER TER

Zach: TERRRRRAAAAA

Zach: TERRA PLEASE

Zach: NO DON’T

Zach: I AM NOT GOING TO ASK THEM I DON’T WANNA

Ter: _I am disowning myself and am calling for Master’s help._

Ter: _I will not be involved in a slaughterhouse._

Zach: omFG NO WAY

 

Ter has sent out_of_here.jpeg.

 

Zach: holY SHiT

 

 

Zak >> Aqua

 

Zak: Aqua

Aqua: on it

Aqua: it’s Idiot Family, right

Zak: yeeeeeaaaaap

 

* * *

 

cats in the bag now

 

Sor-a-in’: say hello to our new housemates!

memorizing: Roxas I am not GOING ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE

#1 Mom: Who gave Leon this power.

Karkat: can we use these to kill X

Sor-a-in’: yes!

Sor-a-in’: they even have their own armor

oh, light?: **_g o o d._**

terrabyte: NO THIS IS NOT GOOD

Sor-a-in’: but aren’t you removed from this family?

terrabyte:

terrabyte: true

me me dreamy boy: why

Sor-a-in’: because Leon let us?

me me dreamy boy: THOSE ARE NOT DOMESTIC ANIMALS

Sor-a-in’: BUT LEON TAMED THEM

me me dreamy boy: WHY ARE YOU PUTTING TRUST IN AN INSANE CAT WHISPERER YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

Sor-a-in’: NO WE’RE NOT

me me dreamy boy: _he can give out the command to have them eat all of you and none of you would be the wiser_

Sor-a-in’:

fuck consequences: except Cloud he’d kill them

Roxas: and tht’s why Leo isn’t in this chat

Huey: For a good reason…

 

* * *

 

Purity Incarnate: Sora is dead and I cannot unsee his murder.

memorizing: did they finally get him

fuck consequences: no

fuck consequences: it’s worse

memorizing: ?

fuck consequences: so Leon adopted Sora right?

Karkat: go on

fuck consequences: _he has the cat touch_

#1 Mom: to put this eloquently

#1 Mom: What the fuck do you mean.

Karkat: THIS SHITHOLE WAS A FUCKING MISTAKE

fuck consequences: _What do you mean, what the fuck do I mean?_

terrabyte: I left at the best time possible

me me dreamy boy: hel P

Sor-a-in’: hI GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

me me dreamy boy: HE’S UNDER A PANTHER

me me dreamy boy: HE IS _UNDER_

me me dreamy boy: _A **FUCKING**_

me me dreamy boy: **ADULT**

me me dreamy boy: **PANTHER**

vents: just like in the movies!

me me dreamy boy: NO ONE IS HERE BUT US THREE

me me dreamy boy: XION YOU UCKER HELP US

Purity Incarnate: I kindly refuse thank you.

Purity Incarnate: This is not my family.

 

zak & cody is online.

 

zak & cody: If you live with me you’re with them.

 

zak & cody is offline.

 

Purity Incarnate: fuck

oh, light?: I officially wish this family would get eaten faster

memorizing: but then who would get to release the cats on fucktard X?

oh, light?: shit ur right

terrabyte: _no i own that right put them behind the fucking line_

me me dreamy boy: HELP ME

oh, light?: oh, right

 

 

Cloud >> Cid, Leon

 

Cloud: I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA

Cloud: AND DON’T TELL ME TO BE CALM, SQUALL LEONHART

Leon: be calm, Cloud

Leon: fuck

Cid: okay, he earned it

Cid: but why am I here again?

Cloud: BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED THIS MONSTROSITY OF A SITUATION TO OCCUR

Cid: hey

Cid: the kids are enjoying themselves

Cid: It’s ok

Cid: plus, Van kid gave me a good idea

Cloud: VANITAS’S IDEA CAN SUCK MY ASS WE ARE NOT LETTING XEHANORT GET MAULED BY ANIMALS THAT DON’T DESERVE HIS FLESH

Cid: oh

Cid: so you agree he should be killed

Cloud: oh mY GOD CID

Cid: but not by innocent cats

Cloud: BUT THEY DON’T DESERVE HIS FLESH

Leon: I am mildly terrified that you keep saying flesh like he’s some sort of demonic beast that’s haunting you

Cloud: STOP

 

 

The Awkward Adults’ Round Table

 

Gladion: Aerith

Aeres: Yeah?

Gladion: why did I marry a complete idiot

Tsunade: I told you you should’ve gone for Zach

Tsunade: but NOOOOOO

Tsunade: you went and fell for Leon

Yiff Yiff: hey don’t blame Leiah for this!

Yiff Yiff: you enabled him!

Gladion:

Aeres: no violence here Cloud

Aeres: you promised

Cat’s Bitch: you know I can read these right

Gladion: and you care!?

Gladion: as far as I know you’re already dead

Gladion: alongside your _son_

Yiff Yiff: is that a meme I smell?

Cat’s Bitch: oh, really?

Cat’s Bitch: we’re gonna go there?

Gladion: MY SON WOULD NOT

Gladion: WILLINGLU 

Gladion: THROW HIS HEART TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSES

Gladion: JUST FOR FUN

Cid: False.

Yiff Yiff: And you know it~

Tsunade: he’s worse than you, glad

Gladion: I’M NOT ASKING TO BE ATTACKED HERE

Tsunade: Then whine somewhere else

Tsunade: preferably with your husband

Yiff Yiff: In bed!

Aeres: YUFFIE

 

Gladion is offline.

 

Cat’s Bitch: I’ll talk to him.

 

Cat’s Bitch is offline.

 

Tsunade: at least the feud’s outta here

Yiff Yiff: awwwww

Yiff Yiff: I wanted to tease them some more -3-

 

 

Cloud >> Leon

 

Cloud: so

Cloud: we’ve come to the conclusion

Leon: that we’re keeping the cats

Cloud: LEON

Cloud: LET’S TRY THIS

Cloud: ONE MORE TIME

Leon: keeping

Cloud: YOU FUCKING

Cloud: I AM FILING FOR A DIVORCE

Cloud: YOU DICK

Leon: I call custody 

Cloud: YOU ARE NOT

Cloud: god

Cloud: how are you even an adult

Leon: I make the best decisions

Cloud: Squall not _now_

Leon: yes now

Cloud: I will hit you if you give me a “decision” that was remotely good

Leon: I actually fought with my friends so that way we could destroy the darkness

Cloud:

Cloud: fuck I can’t believe you’ve done this

 

* * *

 

Day 1500 of no camera flamethrower

 

Sora: sooo

Sora: we may have a problem

Leon: what now, Simba?

Namine: …

Roxas: we have babies

Cloud: BABIES?!

Cid: you are never going to stop regretting this, will you Cloud

Cloud: that is IT

Cloud: WE ARE GETTING RID OF THEM

Sora: nO DAD

Roxas: I vote no

Ventus: no

Cloud: OH SO NOW YOU TALK

Ventus: I had a mission

Cloud: NO YOU DIDN’T YOU WERE FOOLING AROUND WITH AQUA AND TERRA

Ventus: HEY

Ventus: AT LEAST I HAVE SOME

Cloud: MORE LIKE A FEW MISTAKES

Sora: uh

Roxas: you should take that back, Father.

Cloud: shit

Cloud: I’m sorry, Ven

Cloud: but this has been stressing me out this entire week

Ventus: not accepted

Cloud: I know I just

Cloud: I’m sorry

Ventus: not until you give me three of them

Cloud:

Cloud: you know what

Cloud: just take ‘em

Cloud: JUST

Cloud: TAKE ‘EM

Cloud: GIVE THEM TO YEN SID IF YOU WANT TO I AM _NOT_

Sora: Yeah!

Nami: almost had to bust a move there Cloud

Roxas: !!

Rox: i got an idea

 

 

The Badlands™

 

Nami I have an idea

Cid: better be worth it kid

Cid: and don’t hurt anybody

Nami: I know

Nami: _exactly_

Nami: what you want

Roxas: This is why I still firmly believe we’re twins

 

 

Day 1500 of no camera flamethrower

 

Cloud: Children

Cloud: Why are the lions painted.

Cloud: Leon, where’s Nala?

Cloud: Guys?

Cloud: OH FU

 

Cloud is offline.

 

 

cats in the bag now

 

Sor-a-in’: he’s pissed

me me dreamy boy: he’s going to slaughter you all

#1 Mom: I think he doesn’t deserve this one bit.

oh, light?: that’s what you think

fuck consequences: I agree

fuck consequences: he had it coming

Huey: thank you for such wondrous support!

vents: where are my lions Roxass

fuck consequences: come to the meet up and you’ll see them

vents: …

vents: how much

fuck consequences: 5k mun a piece

vents: alrighty cool

#1 Mom: VENTUS YOU ARE NOT

terrabyte: I refuse to have one even near me

me me dreamy boy: this is why mankind falls to darkness

Purity Incarnate: You can say that again.

Karkat: this is why mankind rises to greatness get it right bitch

 

 

The Great Uchicha is Xehanort’s Problem Now

 

Uchicha! has changed [The Great Uchiha is Xehanort's Problem Now] to Fresh Lions for Sale.

 

Uchicha!: hey guys!

Uchicha!: We have some lions to sell, and Cloud doesn’t want them.

Uchiha!: _HOW MUCH_

olay: HAYNER NO

penny: HAYNER YES

 

 

Day 1500 of no camera flamethrower

 

Cloud: I hope you kids are happy.

Sora: YES

Namine: thx Dad! you are the best!

Leon: I always make the best decisions.

Cid: What’re you talkn’ about?! I make the best decision!

Roxas: still no camera flamethrower

Cid: fuck

Cloud: Cid you are making that thing right now oR SO HELP ME

 

 

zak >> terra

 

zak: is that lion for me?

terra: FUCK

zak: bitch please you love me too much to _not_ get one

terra: who told you about the liooooooooh

zak: and you said you didn’t want to be associated with us anymore

 

terra is offline.

 

zak: my baby shiro better b fucking ready when I come over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw Badlands is basically where the majority of the Squall-Strife family exist, Cloud not included because, according to Roxas, "he ruins all the fun" (more like if Cloud finds out they're so fucking dead)
> 
> also sorry if this chapter seems bweh, im posting this years later and its got little editing done

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I have chapter 2 going on, and I'll give you a hint: party.  
> Anyways, still join us over here at [www.pleasejoin.com](https://discord.gg/sAJFhz2). we may be small (seriously it's like 4 people here) but we want more people to talk to _we don't byte I swear_.  
>  small promise: i'll get to flowey i swear
> 
> Also chat names for the kids:  
> Joseph Joestar/Sor-a-in'/Sora: Sora  
> Caesar-chan/me me dreamy boy: Riku  
> oh, light?: Kairi  
> #1 Mom: Aqua  
> Suiting Up: Terra  
> vents/Ventus: Ventus  
> Hi I'm Daisy/Namine: Namine  
> memorizing: Axel  
> Karkat: Vanitas  
> cicc/Cid: Cid  
> Cloud: as himself  
> lion kin: Leon  
> fuck consequences/Roxie: Roxas  
> Purity Incarnate: Xion


End file.
